Daedalus

These are words from another time - a trip to the inner depths. March 28, 2004

1. latch onto the stream of empathy, ride it like a flow of thick crimson water. all the sadness and happiness of what it means to be human blurred into a teary visage: this is weeping.

love? compassion? pity?

seeing the pathos in all men and women, admiring it.

2. clouds: dancing bodies, all alive. an mc.escher painting, all shapes intertwining to become pattern. those dancing bodies the happy dionysan spirit of a bliss behond our present time, out of reach for a while, beckoning. Will they dance and beckon me for all tomorrow?

3. taking his hand, feeling the moisture and slime of sweat and desperation, but through it all, a passion for the flow. all facade thrown aside, true faces shown, friends here and now, solid.

4. joy and wonder, the sun again shines. and as it rises, hydrogen bomb hallocinogen in the east, it's a snickering rebirth, kinship.

5. her, the sadness and intimacy of what it means to grasp. her. and tears are love, they are, soft drops of sullen joyfulness. form her eyes in front, so close and unwavering. she'll never break that gaze, never look away, forever.

just weep.

6. drop off, fall away, ride some bliss on the way, smile and feel your insides implode.
resurface and make the plunge anew.

7. the leering pirate faces still gleer from amongst the woodwork. let them laugh, swallow the joker spirit, a smiling redfaced skull.

8. and from a rational side, how fucking unbelievable was it to see the wood grain turn into a fractalling artificial life animation. lovely, huh, steve wolfram.

9. and thats all we are, a curve of calculus, an index in the recursive pass of a state machine, so basic, so simple. oscillate on that, let the heat sink in like a synapse firing.

10. his fear was there, her sadness was there, my smirk, his wonder, her eyes, my tears.

11. her = kindred soul

12. all the other people i've ever met, hardlinking into them for upload. are they smiling?

13. when does the trip truly end?

14. is this it? remember from dreams past with smiling realization I've reached the end, all feelings groked, and it's ok to die.

One thought that often crosses my mind when I think of the competing realities of open source and private software development: does this resemble communism versus capitalism? At the root of both these methods lie those two differing ideologies.

Capitalism comes from the theme of healthy competition, laissez-faire. The legacy of Adam Smith has brought about tremendous prosperity and progress. One could say that capitalistic processes drove each new technology forward: from international trade (East India Co.), to transportation (railroads and transportation), and of course consumer goods (Wal-Mart, strip malls, and all the rest).

Communism, in the Marxian sense, revolves around equality of goods and services, a homogenous economy of sorts. In the world of software, where code itself is the product, open source parallels this equality very well. Anyone contributes, all benefit.

I think the vital difference doesn't lie in the ideologies themselves, but in the Transparency of Transaction. Here's what I mean.

In the past, harvesting natural resources created goods. The transformation required labor, time, intelligence and money. This created value. And of course, the individual or company who put in X amount of resources expected to reap Y gross, and hopefully Y > X. Simple economics. Competition provides choice for the buyers, creates more risk, and catalyzes growth, development and progress. These are the capitalistic ideals.

Lets put aside monopolies and government subsidies and whatever else has come into play to distort the original "rules" of capitalism.

Of course Communism was deduced from differing principles. Socialistic aims concern individuals, not economic movements. The economic philosophy of the left states that if the needs of all are met, then most everything else will work itself out. In practice, however, the choice of people is eliminated, which is as vital as food and shelter. Couple in the limited natural resources thing, and you have a big problem (U.S.S.R, Cuba).

Now lets take software development. Not counting man-hours, resources required are very small (a few PCs, internet connection). Of course, software can be extremely useful and powerful, so Y > X. This is not always the case - and software can fail (vaporware anyone?) or be extremely buggy.

But if a grocery store goes bottom up, the whole thing wasn't a waste. It just means that for a certain amount of time X > Y. And there can still be marginal Y (sales and clearances). In software, if a company can't release anything and goes bankrupt, Y is ZERO. And there's no way to utilize X (most code is scrapped).

Open source steps out of this model. Because there is no drive to acquire profit, and virtually no transportation or natural resource costs, X is never really lost. It keeps growing and growing, creating a product that rivals any corporate creation – companies burdened by the pressure to attain Y and keep X < Y.

As I see it, as this Transparency of Transaction continues to spread to goods and services, the greedy capitalistic model will falter. These ideas can be extrapolated to medicine, government, education, consumer goods, and of course intellectual property.
Here is a link to exactly what I'm talking about.

Of course, until we have nano-particle replicators in every home the problem of scarcity wont be eliminated. But there’s a good chance that the technological infrastructure will significantly reduce the overhead to create and move these goods.

I'm pissed and sunburned, late at night, speakers resonating with fury. I'm wearing my blue vest and no shirt, but the felt liner is cozy. I'm still pissed. Not cause of her, but because of the fury of the nighttime thunderstorm and the weight of the world. I have three glasses in front of me.

Vodka in a glass, mountain dew in a can, and water in an insulated plastic mug. I juggle all three in a desperate chug fest. After a few seconds, all three are imbibed, I get a little bit drunker, and my mouth sings with salty sweetness.

My lips still form a frown. The music is so damn loud I can barely think to type or understand. It’s not a defined hatred, just a bathing anger of irrational seething fury. Heat expelled like a-bomb radiation from my blistered skin, desperation and ignored violence.

If I define the seasons by the overwhelming mood I underwent during that time, this summer is bliss. Its nonthinking, nonresponsive euphoria. Just a state of passion and summer sun, smiles, THC and alcohol. It's sunny rides on the lake, easy classes, high school sweethearts, graceful ballads, and city walks. No pressure. Responsibility so light it doesn't weigh down on my shoulders like gravity.

And so tonight is a tribute to harder times, to sadder feelings and the golden desperation. Biting lip fury of the past, cause perhaps the present is too good.

I'm getting soft, clammy, and weak - soaking up the sun and unfulfilled.

As three AM approaches, and I know tomorrow will be another perfect day, I squeeze my eyeballs in my liquid head and think of the fall. When the plateau of bliss begins to fade. When the euphoria subsides, and I push myself through trials and pain. When my grin does not cover my entire face, but is a slight smirk. And I'm alone in the wilderness.

Alone, that's what I drink to. What the cool summer breeze alludes to.

A different time, a different me.

Just finished a great Steven King short novel called The Long Walk Very excellent - reminded me of some brutal backpacking trips I've had, or that one time I hiked 26 miles in a day.

It also inspired me to write, which I've been neglecting while phooling around in photoshop.

Here's a very interesting essay about Neoconservativism, both from the context of Reagan and Bush.

http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1541119&lastnode_id=1541120

I used to not be such a big fan of Reagan, mainly because of the cover ups in South America (Nicaragua), as well as the Christian Coalition agenda unleashed on America (War on Drugs).

But now I have a lot more respect for him. I told my friend the other day:
"Reagan removed the fear from the American public during a very fearful time. Bush instills fear in the American public during a relatively safe time."

I think that’s the vital difference - Reagan was genuinely concerned with the entire well being of America, both stateside and abroad, and building that concept in a positive light. I think Bush cares for the "generic" American citizen, but by no means does he want to improve the well being of America in the global context. His agenda gets in the way.